2008
05
1
30 days, Part Deux
Last November I gave up drinking alcohol for 30 days. Well Ladies and Gentlemen I am delighted to announce to you round 2 of the 30 days challenge. For the month of May, I will only allow myself to drink from the cold, hard, concrete urn that is the truth. What’s that nonsense you say? I forbid myself of lying. For 4 weeks plus 2 days.
My roommates established that 75% of what I say is made up. They are quite tired of being fooled into hearing ridiculous things about the history of the planet, formation of foreign governments or facts about famous people when they were children that just aren’t true. They were amazed that Benjamin Franklin invented skipping when he was 6 or that the nation of Hungary was given that name by the Romans, who were overly impressed by the people’s appetite when they were colonizing that part of the world. They were equally crushed when they found out those things were false. But it is true that Benjmain Franklin lived to be 100 and that is why he is on the 100 dollar bill.
But no more, I shall from this second on not digress from the solid bridge of truth that extends over the dense woods of deception, the fields of slight manipulation or the seas of clever wit.
Hummingbirds eat their own poo and squirrels don’t like peanuts.
Still, I think it is important to acknowledge the effort and persistance of falling off the path of truth and getting up to find your way again. There is something to be said about that. In fact, it was George Washington who remarked as he was crossing the Mohawk river that “By keeping to a persistence of truth, I admire myself no better than lacking knowledge of lies.”
And bears eat beets.
