I have never stopped ordering it.

I still remember that frightful afternoon years ago when I learned that the Cheesy Gordita Crunch (CGC) was going to be discontinued from the Taco Bell menu. Why, I thought, would they end the reign of such a delicious and fulfilling item, arguably their best non-burrito creation? Weeks went by without at trip to the Bell, as my desire vanished like the cheesy middle between the hard and soft shell tacos, until one day I decided to venture back. Out of habit, and possibly scorn, I presented my order as usual: One chalupa, one gordita and one cheesy gordita crunch.  The staff shuffled as normal and produced my order, not missing a beat.

Elated I devoured my food and spread the word to everyone I knew. Subsequent trips followed suit and it wasn’t until a manager handled my order that I understood the reason why my orders weren’t rejected.  I presented my selection and he smiled as he punched in the order.

“Ya know,” he started, “I have to make this for you even though we don’t have it on the menu anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“As long as there is this button on the register, I have to make it for you.”  His smile changed to something more sinister as he pointed to a button that I couldn’t see and kept bobbing his hand up and down just long enough to make it uncomfortable, like this button was the reason his girlfriend left him and he still lived with his parents.

“Well I’m glad that button still exists.”

He passed me my receipt with a look of disdain and I hurriedly stepped to the fountain drink machine, out of arms length. There I waited for the deliciousness to come, hoping that he didn’t secretly blame Mountain Dew for killing his goldfish.

P.S. I Love You.

Mean Girls.

Up.

What are these you might ask? Is this a list of my girlfriend’s favorite movies? A top-ten of the greatest chick flicks? There are only four, first of all, but I need to discuss something with the 6 of you reading this. Why did I stay up hugging my pillow tonight when I was watching the first movie Why did I allow almost 20 minutes to go by while I watched the second? What was appealing to me about Mean Girls that I couldn’t find on the internet? Why did I tear up multiple times during Pixar’s latest adventure of an old man and a chubby boy scout? Fuck man, where did the days go where I yearned for explosions and martial art kung-fu fighting and non stop 100% pure adrenaline found only with a cast of Keanu Reeves, Gary Busey or both.

Maybe because I watched the first two by myself I felt free of criticism, although I had to stop P.S. I Love You because after Gerard died it was draining my testosterone. Mean Girls had hot girls talking about Taco Bell. Up was an all around fantastic film, and my friends who watched it with me also admitted some man tears at the end. I really liked Definitely, Maybe and I will fight you if you disagree. Man-Crush on Ryan Reynolds? Possibly.

Entourage is still awesome and arguably the best show on Television. I still polish my Point Break collection every morning. The bench press is still my favorite exercise. I love beer. But what am I to make of these, these changes in my movie preferences? I no longer want to watch movies with senseless violence and death. I am solely drawn to positive and meaningful material, made better if I can relate to it. I want to be inspired, or laugh, or feel like yeah, I’ve been there too. Speaking of which, I loved every one of M. Night’s films with the huge exception of The Happening.

So maybe this change isn’t something I should fear. My manhood is still intact, and I imagine it happens to plenty of maturing adults. We’ll see where it takes me for the rest of the Summer Blockbusters.